By Sam Cubbison
When we don our masks on Halloween, it gives us a chance to really evaluate the monster beneath. So which classic horror film monster are you? Check out our list to get schooled in all things ghoul.
Are you in desperate need of a shave? The Wolf Man’s favorite things in life are howling, tennis balls and tummy rubs. If you are a carefree spirit who can’t get enough of the full moon, then The Wolf Man sounds like a perfect fit. You’re probably going to need to buy a better razor, by the way.
Do you need to get out more? Does the thought of a tanning salon make you shiver? Do you have a thing for the color black and sleeping in small spaces? If you answered yes to all of these questions, then you probably identify best with Dracula. Even the darkest of souls need love, and SPF of course.
Are you a simple kind of person who means well, but never does well? Frankenstein seems like he can never catch a break; people can’t even get his name right. (It’s Frankenstein’s MONSTER.) Anyway, this clumsy oaf is all muscle, so if you’re a misunderstood jock than you may just be Frankenstein.
Are you too wrapped up in things to catch a break? Feeling a little claustrophobic in your own skin? Do people keep disturbing your slumber despite a clearly written note stating not to? If you are royalty with a love for fine jewelry, then the mummy may just be your monster. Also, you should drink more water. You’re looking a little dehydrated.
Are you having a bad hair day, or in this case, a bad face day? The Phantom of the Opera likes to be overly dramatic in a billowing cape, with his own soundtrack playing in his wake. If you’re a grade-A gossip with a knack for mischief, then this Phantom is your guy.
Can’t quit buzzing in people’s ears? Have a habit of getting caught in sticky situations? Maybe you identify the most with The Fly. The next time you have the “genius” idea to use a matter transporter device on yourself, be sure to check for flies and other living things first. That is, if you prefer not to be squished.
Don’t you just hate how chlorine turns your hair green after a summer spent at the pool? The Creature From the Black Lagoon could have been an Olympic swimmer if not for the murders and what not. If you love the water and can hold your breath for over five minutes, then The Creature From the Black Lagoon is your fish.
So whom did you find something wicked in common with? Whether you’re a Dracula or a Frankenstein, it can’t be worse than being labeled a Miranda or a Charlotte. Everyone has a little mischief brewing within. For this upcoming Halloween, let it all out with all of your favorite monsters!